Children are highly intuitive. This is one of the hardest things for me right now about being a mom. I am feeling much more optimistic about Rowan’s future and the future of our family. However, there are still times where I feel so overwhelmed I can hardly keep it together.
Reading a book with Little Bird where she points at the baby on the page, and then points at my tummy and says “BABY!”
Seeing Rowan’s clothes in a box in our room.
I just get teary – and when I’m alone with Little Bird, me being upset translates to her being extremely unsure of her environment. She cries more, feels less comfortable being in a different room than me, wants me to hold her more often (which is not okay for me to do anymore).
I keep reminding myself that I have to stay calm for her. I don’t ever want to make a child deal with adult problems. This is something she will have to deal with when Rowan arrives and should not have to deal with it now.
So -
I’m cutting myself some slack. We’ve been cuddling up watching movies together. We take our time getting things done right now and try not to be in a rush so that I don’t get stressed. If I do get upset, I tell her “Mommy is sad today, but it’s okay to be sad sometimes. Let’s go get a drink/build some blocks/sing a song to help us not be sad.” I’m putting less pressure on myself to be supermom in the next few days, and just letting myself be “mom”.
Keep in mind, being supermom is simply being the best mom you can be for Evelyn. Sad or happy. Productive or not. You are still taking care of her, not just physically, but emotionally. That's more than a lot of moms would do.
ReplyDeletei watched you and evie today. and do you know what i saw? i saw supermom. it doesn't matter if you're watching wonder pets, or you're making flowered pens, or you're herding a toddler through walmart, or you're encouraging drawing in her paper book. you're supermom. you're amazing and she's lucky lucky lucky to have you. she'll adjust and so will Rowan and so will you and Matt. she knows you love her. and even though she may be feeling a little insecure now because she can sense the stress you're under, she'll continue to thrive and develop at her ridiculously fast rate.
ReplyDeletelove love love you you wonderful mother.