Thursday, September 2, 2010

Trying Not to Feel Like I am Giving Up

Disclaimer: Understand please that this post is about my personal experience with breastfeeding and is in no way meant to belittle or demean any mother who has chosen a different path.  I believe we all follow our instincts to be the best mother we can, and this is simply a post about me trying to follow my instincts for mothering this specific child.

I generally really love that I am still breastfeeding Evelyn.  I know it is what is best for her, and that the AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) recommends a MINIMUM of one year of breastfeeding.  My original goal was 6 months, and I met that goal with flying colors and decided I would make it to a year.

Now I am really struggling.  I only have one period during the day that I can pump at work.  Evelyn has two feedings while she is at childcare.  It doesn’t add up.  To make up for it, I’ve been getting up in the middle of the night every night and pumping to generate that extra feeding she needs for school.

90 students, a month of work, and Doc being gone a lot has led to me being at a very difficult point.  I cannot continue to deprive myself of sleep and still work 10 hours a day while managing our home, bills, etc. 

So I’m trying to find a solution.  My best hope is that I can supplement one of her feedings with formula while she is at school, and continue to feed her breast milk the other times until I can wean her onto whole milk at 1 year.  I have no idea if she will even take the formula.

I would love to find a solution that didn’t require me to give up on something I am not ready to give up on yet, but I cannot think of anything. 

I was so dead set on not giving her formula at all.  Not that formula is evil, but if the MINIMUM recommended by the AAP is one year, I feel like I should at least be able to do that.

I feel like weaning her now would be giving up, since I set a goal of 1 year, and will not be reaching it.


I just want to be the best mom I can.


  1. I think that you've got the right idea! Don't give up the breastfeeding, but for your own sanity replace a feeding. Just because Evelyn isn't getting 100% breastmilk, it doesn't mean you're giving up. Nor does it mean the breastmilk doesn't have the same effect.

    I think you still have it in you to at least give her one feeding of breastmilk a day, if not more. And one is all she needs to get the wonderful benefits that breastmilk can give! Besides the fact that she's had 9 MONTHS of 100% breastmilk! Year or not, that's still better than nothing. Some moms just won't even give breastfeeding a shot. If you can't, that's one thing, but some moms can but choose not to because it might be too difficult. It really is becoming difficult for you and you still wanna stick with it! DO NOT sell yourself short!

    Again, even if you only do it once a day, you haven't given up yet!

  2. um what kristi said lol i'm not a mommy! but what she said sounds good!