Please Go Back To Sleep....Please?

For the last 4 nights, Evelyn gets up at least every 2 hours.  It's like she is just really uncomfortable.  She just isn't staying asleep and she's wanting to nurse all the time at night.  It's driving me crazy.  It's not the initial bedtime that is hard.  She goes right to sleep around 8 every night.  I just don't understand.

She has been moody and drooling alot and chewing on everything, but she's been that way for over a week and no signs of teeth, so I'm thinking I can't really blame teething anymore.  I don't think there is anything wrong, but I keep hearing about these other parents and babies who have children younger than her who sleep all freaking night long.

Now from a breastfeeding mom standpoint, Ouch.  All night is a long time to get engorged.... BUT, from a tired as hell mom...WHY? WHY CAN"T EVELYN DO THAT JUST ONCE?!?!

::Sigh::

So I got up this morning at 5:30 with my darling little one and sat to googling for support.

THANK YOU http://blogcritics.org/culture/article/a-helping-hand-my-baby-wont/
Encouraging and just hippie enough to give me the power boost of confidence that this won't last forever and one day she will sleep all night...

AND VOILA!

Here it is!  My herb line up!  Starting with the left, we have chamomile, cilantro, chocolate mint, cilantro again (can never have too much), spearmint, and lavender.

I wanted pretty planters, but they all cost at least $5 to get bright colored pots.  SO, I bought the cheap clay pots that cost $1.50 a piece and painted them bright colors.  It's nice to look out my window and see the prayer flags and they bright colored plots.

I'm waiting for the cilantro and lavendar to start growing, but the other ones I can start cutting and drying pretty soon.  Now I just need to figure out how to dry them out and store them until I want to use them.  I'm thinking I need some clear canisters or something along those lines.

Herb Garden Beginnings!

Ok, officially started my herb garden today after buying 3 potted herbs at the market. Today's purchases:

Chocolate Mint: a mint plant I plan on using for teas and maybe stuffed peppers
Spearmint: great in water during the summer to cool off, for colds and allergies, and for making tea.
Chamomile: Aromatherapy scent as well as a good cough suppresant if you are looking for a calming tea.

I still want to expand to include other medicinal herbs and delicious herbs (lemongrass!) as well as some commonly used kitchen herbs. Definitely need some cilantro!

Any ideas out there on good additions to my tiny upstart?

Motivation

Trust Google. Trust the power of searching for exactly what you want to find, and finding it!

I needed motivation for finding some way to keep motivated and I mentioned making signs in my last post. Well, I decided a wise and earth friendly quote was what I needed. AND...:

"We do not inherit the earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children." - Native American Proverb

That's all I needed. Today, cloth diapering with the acception of travel time. And I remember why I loved it now! She pooped and there was no leaking. She lets me know when she needs a diaper change, and they hug her body much better as she crawls, rolls, and squirms around.

LOVE IT!

Cloth Diaper Update

Well, after my mom (who was unwilling to cloth diaper) watched Evelyn last month, switching back to cloth has been very difficult. I have managed to get her back in them in the mornings when we are at home, but I'm finding it really difficult to be motivated to keep doing it when I feel like I have no support. All I hear is negative comments from people about cloth diapering. I know the research shows that it's good.

I'm trying to continue, but it's much more difficult when I am by myself. The first months Matt was home a lot and my mom was there to help, but now it's just me.

Ugh, maybe I'll make myself motivational posters and put them up around the house....

Puree le peas!

Well, here's to throwing away the parenting handbook and listening to your baby!

Evelyn is supposed to eat one meal a day. Yeah, right. She's constantly going after food, so we switched to two meals a day. Guess what! She sleeps 6 to 7 hours every night now instead of waking up hungry every 4. Good call? I think yes. So, she is now eating sweet potatoes and rice cereal, but it's time to introduce a new food.

GO PEAS! Peas aren't in season yet (not much is) so I bought them frozen. One bag of frozen peas, boiled, pureed in a blender and poured into containers!

Evelyn watched me make them and when I started pouring the pea paste into the ice cube containers, she started SCREAMING! So, I got a spoon and let her taste some of it.

Verdict = Peas are freaking delicious.

Peas contain the vitamins and minerals that sweet potatoes lack so between the two Evelyn is getting a much more balanced diet. We'll do squash next and then start fruits. Veggies first!

Honor

Yesterday was Mother's Day. Usually, we spend the day honoring our mother. I was honored by my husband two and a half hours before midnight when my husband asked me to marry him again on our next vacation. We have endured and struggled through the last two and a half years. The normal struggles of marriage were easily passed and we have felt great joy in the arrival of our daughter. However, losing a child a year ago has marred both of us. Yesterday, while thinking about what we will vow at our next wedding, I realized I was finally ready to let go of my child's spirit.

After a year of feeling pain at her absense and knowing what could have been, I am ready to get rid of the things I saved for her. I want to honor her memory, yet I hate to think that by holding on to her I would someone keep her from peace. So I am burning her candle down until it can burn no longer and releasing her. I am finally ready to let go.

This mother's day was about more than gifts from my husband and child. This mother's day was about honoring what it means to be a mother, a guardian and caretaker of a child. I am honored to be Evelyn's mother, and I will honor my lost one for the last time this week. Happy Mothers Day.