So I’ve been writing again. It’s weird to say that looking back there are periods where I don’t know what happened. Events seem so bizarre or non-sensical that I can’t figure out how or why they happened. People’s reactions. Conversations that proved people were blind to what my life was…what Rowan’s life was. I almost felt like two people. There was the me that was living each day – full of light and warmth – content and peaceful. Then there was the me with the angry and bitter inner monologue that hated everyone and everything and resented more harshly than most.
So I’m trying to write it out. Trying to piece things together. What flipped the switch for me? Why did some people do what they did? Why were we so alone for so much of it?
It’s hard to tell. But at least I’m trying again.
It’s easier to understand where you are going if you understand where you’ve been.