Let Go, Let Go, Just Jump In

It's hard to post on this blog very much since so much of my time has been spent carrying for Wolfcub lately.  (We determined little tree was not fitting with his temperament...so we have little bird and wolfcub) But my life has changed quite a bit in the last few months.

Originally, I thought to spare Little Bird all the chaos and changes surrounding Wolfcub's health fiasco.  She stayed with her grandparents in as stable an environment I could control while Doc and I took care of her little brother.  This was fine when the plan was that he would only be hospitalized for a month.  That month expired two weeks ago.  As much as I wanted this to be a glimmer, it's become more than that.  So we've decided to dive into our new life.

Little Bird is living with us at Haven House in St. Louis now (soon to be Ronald McDonald due to our prolonged stay and the cost of Haven House).  Our family is together. Instead of trying to "spare" our daughter, she's a part of it now.  When we thought, "It will be a month.  Then he will come home and she won't know we were gone," I was fine with Little Bird not being involved, but that isn't the case anymore.

So everyday she wakes up, eats breakfast, comes up to spend half an hour with brother, goes to play for a few hours, sees brother again.  Then she eats lunch, sees brother, goes to take a nap - and depending on the day, either comes back up to see him before dinner or plays at HavenHouse with us for the evening.  She listens to Wolfcub's heart with a stethoscope.  She talks to him and shows him toys.  We're making this normal for her.  She gets to help us take care of brother.

I wish I'd trusted that she could handle it and done this from day one.  We showed her a picture of Wolfcub intubated and she got really upset so we shied away from it.  When she saw him in person, all she said was "he's so cute!"