Trying to stay off the meds...

I realized that I have never talked about this on my blog, despite the fact that I'm pretty open about it in person. I struggle a little bit with anxiety. I have panic attacks sometimes, but since I changed to eating healthier and exercising I've been able to keep it under control. Well, the sleep deprivation from motherhood hasn't been helping. I had my first panic attack in at least 9 months last week. I don't like being on medication, and I was only on it for a few months before I felt like I could go back to coping without additional help. However, the sleep deprivation isn't going to go away anytime soon and I'm really struggling with finding time or energy to exercise lately.

Staying healthy is a constant battle. I don't know anyone who can eat healthy and work out regularly without struggling to stay dedicated. The point is to have a reason to stay focused and keep yourself accountable for staying healthy. Anxiety sucks. It makes everything you do harder than it needs to be and I can't afford to not be my best right now. So I need to get back out there working out despite all the excuses involving the "I got 2 hours of sleep last night" "there is ice outside" "I just had a baby I don't need to worry about it" reasons I come up with.

Plus, I want to start trying to conceive again in about 6 months, which means I need to start getting my body ready to be challenged again....

So here goes - trying to stay focused and keep from falling off the anxiety edge again....

Need to hold off at least a few more months...

Ok - this is a post looking for options! Birth control options! I want an option that meets the following criteria:

1. Contain no hormone dosage
2. Allow me to start trying to get pregnant again as soon as I stop
3. Not inhibit the joy of sex
4. Allow me to have sex basically whenever I want to

For once, my fear of drugs is not hippie related. I've had some really bad effects from birth control pills and never found one that didn't make me sick, so I'm terrified of hormones of any kind. So far, condoms are the best we've come up with and they suck but I might have to just deal with it for a while.

I'm pretty much 100% positive that I want another baby ASAP....which means once I have a job and it's been long since Evelyn's birthday that my body is ready to handle pregnancy again. Being at my pre-pregnancy weight is a really good start though.

Cloth Diapering - Ask Away!

Ok, I now consider myself to be pretty savvy when it comes to straight up old fashioned cloth diapering.

Secret?

I love it! I like them better than disposables for practicle use at home. Evelyn likes them better. I think they're more manageable than disposables AND they save a ton of money.

We're still using the disposables for when we leave the house because it would be hard to carry around all the extra stuff to cloth diaper away from home, but we might change that one day!

Sex Ed - Give Me a Break...

Last week the 5th graders at Lanier Elementary School went through Growth and Development. You remember in 5th grade where the boys went in one room and the girls in another and the school nurse came and showed a really out of touch video about puberty and then skirted around everyone's questions afterwards and provided no real useful information? Well guess what! It hasn't changed one bit!

The videos are now from the 90s. That's nice. They do cover the changes that children will go through and even use nude drawings of pre-pubescent boys/girls to show how changes will happen. I like that better than them not showing anything and just mentioning it because I think it reinforces the idea that your body is not something to be ashamed of and all girls have breasts and all boys have penises.

So here's where I get irritated. The boys video talked about puberty for boys. The girls video talked only about puberty for girls. The only mention of anything "sex" related was that they mentioned that when a male sperm cell combines with a female egg cell the egg becomes fertilized and can grow into a baby. One of the little girls picked up on it and raised her hand during question time to say "in the video it said when the cells combine they can grow into a baby. I don't understand that." The nurse's response was extremely angry sounding and she said "I am not going to answer that or talk to you about that. You can ask your mom but we are not going to talk about that here." The little girl looked really upset. This is bad because...

These kids are going to middle school next year. Middle school has changed. Kids are giving/receiving oral sex and some are even having sex already. I don't think it's fair to send these kids into that environment without explaining ANYTHING about HIV/AIDS, STDs, or how pregnancy can occur. I just wish we were a society that didn't freak out about sex and trusted our kids to have the information they need to make decisions and protect themselves. Studies show that children who are better informed about sex wait until later to have sex and have fewer sexual partners throughout their life yet we still hide all this information from them. It's just sad.

Cambodian Scarf For The Win!!!

Ok, my mother in law gave me a late Christmas present today. It is this absolutely beautiful orange hand woven silk scarf made in Cambodia. The scarfs are made by women who work on them and then use the money to send their children to school and become educated themselves. You can read all about it at http://www.mekongblue.com/

Hippies Need Air and Sun! Just like the trees we hug!

Ok. I love having a winter. I like coats, sweaters, scarfs, mittens - they are all well and good.

However motherhood has taught me something about winter. It can suffocate you! I can't take Evelyn out in 11 degree weather and I don't think I've gotten any Vitamin D from the sun since she was born and I miss my daily mile walk with my dog.

SO - I want one week of low 50s. One freak week would do just fine. Please?

Baby Yoga from Parents Magazine

So my friend, Bethany, got Evelyn and I a DVD of momma and baby yoga that is put out by Parents Magazine. Having had only this magazine to read in waiting rooms at the OB for 9 months, I was excited about it. It has some great stretches for baby, but the lady who runs the video is absolutely WAY TOO SAPPY! She makes up all these little rhymes for the stretches that are adorable and kind of make me want to throw up.

Example:
Around the World Baby Stretch: press on head, pull on feet lightly, move one arm out, other arm out, both arms in, both arms out as you chant "North Pole, South Pole, East Coast, West, Inside, Outside, Baby you're the best!"....

....really?

I mean, I'm all about mantras. They got me through labor. I repeated "I can do this" for the last part of pushing to keep me going. I use them to manage my anxiety. I do not recite stupid rhymes about how I am the best to keep me going. I mean, she's a baby, she's not stupid. However, the stretches do actually seem to help her relax and sleep better and help with digestion as well. So I'll keep doing the stretches with her, but maybe find some mantras that aren't gag reflex triggers to use.