Trying to stay off the meds...

I realized that I have never talked about this on my blog, despite the fact that I'm pretty open about it in person. I struggle a little bit with anxiety. I have panic attacks sometimes, but since I changed to eating healthier and exercising I've been able to keep it under control. Well, the sleep deprivation from motherhood hasn't been helping. I had my first panic attack in at least 9 months last week. I don't like being on medication, and I was only on it for a few months before I felt like I could go back to coping without additional help. However, the sleep deprivation isn't going to go away anytime soon and I'm really struggling with finding time or energy to exercise lately.

Staying healthy is a constant battle. I don't know anyone who can eat healthy and work out regularly without struggling to stay dedicated. The point is to have a reason to stay focused and keep yourself accountable for staying healthy. Anxiety sucks. It makes everything you do harder than it needs to be and I can't afford to not be my best right now. So I need to get back out there working out despite all the excuses involving the "I got 2 hours of sleep last night" "there is ice outside" "I just had a baby I don't need to worry about it" reasons I come up with.

Plus, I want to start trying to conceive again in about 6 months, which means I need to start getting my body ready to be challenged again....

So here goes - trying to stay focused and keep from falling off the anxiety edge again....

Need to hold off at least a few more months...

Ok - this is a post looking for options! Birth control options! I want an option that meets the following criteria:

1. Contain no hormone dosage
2. Allow me to start trying to get pregnant again as soon as I stop
3. Not inhibit the joy of sex
4. Allow me to have sex basically whenever I want to

For once, my fear of drugs is not hippie related. I've had some really bad effects from birth control pills and never found one that didn't make me sick, so I'm terrified of hormones of any kind. So far, condoms are the best we've come up with and they suck but I might have to just deal with it for a while.

I'm pretty much 100% positive that I want another baby ASAP....which means once I have a job and it's been long since Evelyn's birthday that my body is ready to handle pregnancy again. Being at my pre-pregnancy weight is a really good start though.